Sometimes being in a bad relationship is like watching an amateur magician. Everyone can see the trap door but you.
We get caught by the flash...the lighting....the voice...the color...the movements...you are in a trance. These things are meant to distract us. Meant to keep us from seeing the truth. Worse than that...sometimes even when we know we are going to be tricked... we still let ourselves fall for it, again.
Why do we do that?
Because we keep telling ourselves...that maybe...just maybe...this one time- it really will be magic. That maybe this time they will stop drinking....this time they will make me feel invincible...this time they mean it...
When will you pull the curtain back on Mr. Oz? When will you wake up? When do say enough with the bad relationship? The ones that are simply smoke and mirrors. When do you put away the Ruby slippers and instead put on your shit-kicking boots? Your bad relationship isn't magic and no amount of belief from you will make them so. Relationships and love are more than magic and pixie dust...they are a special unique concoction of blood, sweat, and tears with a bit of luck sprinkled on top.
The one thing I will give to good magic is this. It forces us to be open and awake. It demands us to be present and forces us to reconsider what we think we know. To appreciate and accept that some things cannot be explained or should not be. I mean isn't that the point of magic...to have us experience things that we never thought possible before? To move us in ways that both bother and brighten us. To show us that the impossible is possible.
So if that's true, then the difference between a bad relationship and a good one is this...
A bad one simply tricks us. A good one, enlightens us. A bad relationship keeps us in the dark. Keeps us from knowing the truth, keeps us from experiencing us. It's an illusion. A good one forces growth, forces perspective, forces development, heart, and does away with false bottoms and trap doors.
Your relationship must be an enlightening experience...no smoke, no gimmicks, no poor lighting. It must levitate you. It must help you fly. It must have you experience things that you never thought possible. That's magic. That's a good relationship. No magic wand required.