My last name is pretty simple. Four letters…a couple consonants and vowels. That’s it. To any passerby it means nothing…to me…it’s all I have. I don’t know my history…I don’t know if it was famous, popular, weird or just broken off from something else.
In real life, I’m an orphan…oliver twist style…and I’ve come to carry it like a badge of honor. Both the orphan title and last name.
Things like names can be carried into life flying high with pride or left to touch the ground.
For me, of all the things I have, this is what I run into battle with.
Every day is a new battle for me. A new boss fight. Every day I ask myself if I’m serving it correctly. I ask if I’m giving respect because honestly, a last name can be meaningless, unless you give it meaning. I question my intentions, I second guess my firmest beliefs, I restructure and reconstruct what is “right” or “wrong” and silently yell at not knowing the final answer.
I treat those around me with the utmost intention I can and demand that if anyone shares space with me, it’s done well, because I don’t know how long I have left. And time wasted in the wrong direction is a losing battle.
I suppose this is why the people that I really engage with understand that my finish line is their starting line.
Everyday I try to set the bar with sharpie.
Everyday I try to paint the Picasso with no colors.
Everyday I try to sing without the lyrics.
And everyday someone or something hands me half empty buckets and I choose to make some noise.
That’s the goal. To make noise. To battle cry. To strengthen my kin. My fellow.
Some of the greatest gifts I ever receive are when I hear strangers say, “oh, I’ve heard of you…”
…The sharp pause and deep inhale I take while bracing for the impact is powerful…
Then they end the sentence, “…you’re great.”
I sigh…I play it off as if it means nothing, damn-well knowing that my battle cry was heard…if not through me…then from me through another. The greatest gift is when I’m passed onto others without ever knowing. Knowing that I'm spoken well of and thought of. A greater gift? When the people that know me take up arms for me. Defend and protect the knowledge and relationship we have/had. By the way, if you're one of those, message me.
It is for this reason that I hold onto all of this stuff…why I carry these goals. Why I hold myself publicly accountable here. Because people matter and the actions we take make the world better.
You have a role.
You have a position.
You have a purpose.
And you have a weapon…
Your words. Your presence. Your energy.
Make yourself heard. Carry your flag. Let people know who you are, what got you here and what you mean.
Deep inhale now…
Battle cry.
People are listening.