Today, live for what your eulogy will read, not for what your resume says.
Intimacy = Into-me-I-see Probably in the top five of all time favorite books of mine is “The Eden Project: Search for the Magical Other” by James Hollis. There is something so very real and deep about this book because it highlights, outside of love, the idea and concept of deep relationship, connection, and intimacy. Not in those words, but in those thoughts, in those energies. I’ve never thought myself to be the type of partner that defined what something was. Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? Are we dating? Are we together? For me, the person I chose to be with, knew it. If they didn’t, then we probably were not any of those things. See the difference? Boys need to put a title on it. Men know it, and make sure that you feel it too. You see, closeness doesn’t come from the words that you use with your partner…it comes from the process that you hold. From the words that are not said or spoken. You do NOT make them feel things…you awaken them to depth that they didn’t know they had. You do not make them fall in love with you, they love who they themselves are around you…as their partner, you’re just lucky enough to feel it. You see, you have nothing to do with the connection- with the depth of their soul, their heart. …you’re just the lucky one to experience it. Intimacy comes down to seeing how deep the rabbit hole goes inside of yourself. Intimacy comes down to how open and willing you are, despite the pain, despite the anger, despite your history, despite how revulsive you think you are…it comes down to your ability to strip down…you’re willingness to become emotionally naked, open, and willingness to jump. No parachute. Not everyone can take that. Not everyone will want to. That’s because you’re not meant for everyone- you’re meant for you. Be real with how you feel. Face your demons. Tolerate suffering. Contain pain. Be grateful for the hurt. Be honored to feel the ugly…and let the real take residence in your gut. Let it fuel you to dig deeper into the fire of your heart and own it. That will open you. That will free you so that you never need a parachute because you’ve grown wings. I know I write this blog in an attempt to work through my own processes. To keep a journal and record of where I have been and one day when I look back…what I was doing. When I retire to look back at the embarrassing things I put down and simply giggle or turn red. I think I can almost imagine what my life was like by each blog I post up. For those of you who don’t know me. I am a generally depressed person. Not in the diagnosable sense (well, sometimes), but really in my core. I enjoy the down. The lonely. The quiet. The soft and low. It fuels me. The dark and silent doesn’t scare me…it centers me. As a strength, I believe that I have the ability to pick up the subtleties in others. When they are “off.” I believe that I have the ability to slow the world down and have sense about others that allows me to recognize how others feel. As a negative, like many of you, I tend to beat myself up. I don’t give myself credit for where I deserve it. I feel an intense anger at some of the things I do. I feel disappointment at my choices at times. I have difficulty accepting that I affect people. I am broken in so many ways- I know this. I have chosen to teach graduate psychology students this year. My first full year of teaching…my first full year of working with the same students as their professor. Yesterday I didn’t know what to expect. I had been requested to attend a hooding ceremony where I teach so that I could place the ceremonial graduate hood over and onto the shoulders of my once students. That in itself was so incredible. I sat honored to be a member of their journey. More than that. I felt so very privileged to know them. Many spoke directly to me. Many said my name. Many honored me despite it being their day. Some put me at the ranks of their own family and on the side, credited me with much of their professional and personal transformation. It moved me. It threw off my balance. In that quick moment I saw the effect that we can have. That I can have. Thank you for that. You moved me. You woke me up. What heart. What soul. What a fire that burns within them. A fire that burns so bright…so hot…that anyone they come close to can feel the warmth. To my colleagues now… Change the world. |
Quick Pick!
May 2024
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